Don't find the owner.
" Why don't you go outside and play with the ball you picked up yesterday?"
" I'm afraid the owner of the ball will ask for it back if he finds it."
They haven't slept yet.
" Does your husband snore when he sleeps?"
"I don't know, you've only been married for three days."
The highest manuscript fee
" What kind of manuscript makes the most money?" said the writer.
" Kidnapping Letter"
I laugh.
The wife listened to the telephone and then spoke to her husband in the bedroom.
" My husband just called me, he said he'd be late.. Haha, haha, haha, he's playing billiards with you."
I'm too tired.
When a drunk man entered a bar, the owner asked him what he wanted to drink, and he replied,
“ Oh my, I’m so tired. Think about it. We have 237 million people in the United States, 104 million of whom are retirees, children, the elderly, and the disabled. That leaves 133 million people who can work, and 85 million of whom are students, so only 48 million people can work. If we take 29 million of those who are federal employees, only 19 million are able to work, and 4 million of those who are in the military, that leaves only 15 million. If we take 14 million and 800,000 of those who are state employees, that leaves only 200,000. Of that, 188,000 are hospitalized, 11,998 are in prison, and the only two people who are actually working are you and me. Meanwhile, you’re the owner of the store, so you can’t leave the store. I’m the only one who’s out there working, so don’t be surprised that you’re so tired. So, in honor of me, I’ll give you two free beers, okay? "My own person"
The price is better.
" I shot this lion while hunting in Africa. To be honest, I wouldn't shoot such a majestic animal. But there was no choice in the matter. If I didn't kill him, he would."
" That's cool... His leather is more expensive than yours."
Response
" Your Honor, my husband broke all the dishes, cupboards, and tables in the house, and he also spoke harshly to me."
" Didn't he apologize when he did that?"
" I'm sorry, I'm taking him away in an ambulance before he speaks to me again."
Because I heard a sound.
" Are you sure you were hit by the car driven by your brother-in-law?"
" Of course, Your Honor, I remember hearing his satisfied laughter from somewhere after the car hit him."
