Mai - About women

My daughter is a virgin.

This morning, as usual, I woke my daughter up at work. I was sitting on the bed and looking out the window into the garden. Under the rising sun, the flowers were swaying in the breeze, along with the butterflies and bumblebees, happily.

During this summer school holiday, my daughter, who usually wakes up at eight o'clock in the morning, woke up before eight o'clock. She had been sitting on the bed with a blank face and was sitting by the window for two days. I don't know if she was thinking about anything while she was like that. Butterflies... or flowers... or someone... oh... oh... does she have a boyfriend?

Pain

Who knows?

A flower of love in my hand

I quietly added.

I don't know who it is.

I stole your heart.

And across the sky

Spread far and wide.

Do you know who he is?

Or everywhere

Are you still looking for him?

I don't know.

Well, for you.

Is it pleasure or pain?

May the pain and suffering be over.

Maung Zay

A poem by Rabindranath Tagore, translated by Saya Maung Zay, suddenly entered my head. I felt a shock inside. My daughter is only thirteen years old. In my eyes, she is a little girl who has not even smelled milk yet. This age is not the age to be proud of. She has just finished eighth grade. She has not even entered ninth grade. She is still doing school and preschool.

Well... But about six months ago, my daughter started having menstrual bleeding... At that time, my daughter seemed to be very upset. She couldn't study properly. She couldn't eat well. Her period started to be heavy, so it wasn't normal. In the meantime, I had to go to the clinic three or four times because I was worried about the white discharge, so she must be upset... Even though I patiently explained to my daughter about these issues of women, she couldn't do well in the eighth grade exam.

At that time, I didn't really think about the question of "Is my daughter a virgin?". I just thought about how my daughter's body was growing. I noticed that her high-pitched voice had gone and her voice had become deeper, that her arms and forearms had become more delicate, that her hips had become slightly larger, and that her breasts had become more plump. I thought of these as natural changes that come with age. It was only a month or two before women, together with their mothers, began to calmly resolve their menstrual issues.

I felt a desire to observe my daughter. I asked her what she was staring at, and she was embarrassed and replied that it was nothing... Mom's. What was there to be ashamed of about this question and the answer that made her feel ashamed of her mother? My daughter was becoming ashamed of her mother. It was different from before. Before, she would talk openly about everything, but now she was starting to hide even the smallest details. When I looked at my daughter, I noticed that her waist, hips, and breasts were starting to become distinct due to the increase in fat. Could it be that all the signs that her body was showing were definitely signs that she had reached puberty?

Yes, of course... I have to accept that my daughter is a virgin. Just like in the poem, she is starting to look for someone she doesn't know yet. It may be a pleasure for her, but it is a pain for me. My daughter, who hasn't even smelled of milk yet, is always thinking about the opposite sex, who she doesn't know yet, because she wants to separate and move the love she has for her mother....... When I think about it, I feel sad and tired... My thoughts are spreading in all directions...

My daughter has become a virgin. As a mother, I will have to bravely face the changing realities of the world and the human nature. If I am not mature as a mother, how can I take care of my daughter who has become a virgin? A good mother who does not expect any response from her daughter must be ready to sacrifice everything. Yes, of course... I have definitely accepted that my daughter has become a virgin.

After accepting this, I had to draw up a plan systematically. The first plan was to ask my daughter to reread my book “About Men” that I published two years ago. I said I had reread it because she had read it once when it was first published. After reading it, my daughter commented, “I don’t know what it was.” At that time, she hadn’t yet reached puberty. Now, I see that my daughter is reading it with interest. Reading “About Men” with interest is another confirmation that she has become a virgin. I also asked her about things that she didn’t understand. My daughter took her time to read the book and it took her about a month. After reading it, her comment changed... “Isn’t it easy for mom to find a man?”... It took her about a week to explain it to me because of this unexpected comment. It can also be said that it was a kind of re-examination.

I still have some future plans, so I'm going to reread my book. Yes, I did. In that book, I explained about the different types of men and also wrote about what women should be careful about. There are so many men for different reasons that it seems like it's becoming a big problem for my daughter. According to the project schedule, the second phase will start in early May. This time, I'm explaining to my daughter about women. This time, I'm explaining it in a lighter way, unlike the previous book.

Just before my daughter’s school opening in early June, the stories I told her about “women” came to an end. In the third phase of the project, I promised to discuss all the big and small issues with my mother openly and honestly for practical teaching solutions. My daughter’s mentality, thoughts, and beliefs have become clear. According to the observations, everything is going well in practice. At the same time, I also felt a desire to share the stories I told my daughter about “women.” It will also be useful for mothers with young daughters. Young women who read it will also be able to think for themselves. It can also be considered as stories that I want to tell my daughters.