Noh wave - in the still air

Counting back, it was miles away. In the dark, in the light, lifeless, living conditions were different. Standing silently between one end and the other in the night. Life and death are light and darkness.

We will be as close as opposites. With the hope that we will meet again in many future lives. With hope.

I hope, but in the summer, it's cold to the bone, and I can't see a single shadow at night, just a fragment of life that remains. Father and son will meet again in the next life. After the next life, we will be happy again. Now, every time I think back to the previous situation, I miss it. Now, I have to stand still for a while. Even if I continue to stand in the dark, the darkness will eventually continue to be dark.

Now, it was quite dark outside. At night, the light of the street lamp was dim and silent. I could only see the past in the silence. Even though no one was under the street lamp that I could see, I wanted to let my mind in as much as possible. The street lamp was too bright at a distance without need. Perhaps it was necessary to light it up. In the light, insects and insects were so happy that I was lost.

We can only live contentedly, and only look forward with imagination from the dark side we see now. Mosquitoes are freezing to death. Just by watching the frozen mosquitoes fly around, it doesn't mean that the mosquitoes will fly away.

The darkness that would drag hope to the very bottom. The moon shone like a crescent in the darkness. Like a single candle left on a stump, human lives are so easily lost. The flame burns with the possibility of fading away at any time. It seems that the only flame that can be extinguished at any time is the one that is being kept quiet. Now it is even harder to breathe. Those were very (dark) nights. Those were very dark nights.

(2)

Cigarette smoke drifted through the still air. It was not disturbing to see someone standing nearby in the dark. I asked my father if he was still asleep. The words I wanted to say were forming in my mind, coming, and trying to speak. It was getting late at night. Trying to break the silence on the verandah meant that words were disappearing again. I couldn't help but stare into the distance, I missed the shooting stars in the sky for a moment, I looked over the towering buildings in front of me and felt sad. In fact, in the distance, stars never fall, I only saw sadness and sorrow, and even though there was no moonlight, I wondered if I would still see shadows in the past, if my father was still in pain. Sitting alone, the two of us felt the need to say something to my father. It seemed as if my father wanted to say something.

So if one or two more words come out, it's still Dad, isn't he still asleep? Dad is still standing there, still looking far away. He's still trying to find the words to say.

It has been a long time since I slept until late at night. In the evenings, when the apartment verandah was filled with cigarette smoke, my father would come to the verandah and talk to me. Inside the house, my mother and family would sleep late at night, resting from the fatigue of the day. On many days, when we were tired, sad, and lonely, my father would come out to the verandah and talk to me. Those were memorable nights. Those were memorable nights, when I was tired, sad, and worried about my health and material things, I could take a short break from the verandah nights. Those were the nights when I remembered my father, missed him, and couldn't forget him. My father would sometimes ask for a cigarette. Every time I asked, I hesitated about my health and couldn't decide. Every time I asked for a cigarette, he just gave it to me. He just gave it to me. I still miss him now.

The song "Sin Gyi Galonchi" and my childhood are still too far away.

The days when my father was hospitalized were the days when my father was in pain. My father had to go to the hospital, and until the very end, he seemed to be determined not to go to the hospital. The pain he was enduring was only made worse by the injuries he suffered after he got to the hospital.

(3)

The news that my father was hospitalized came coldly on the phone. The rain started to fall immediately. Even though we were in the same city, we were always in different places. Bad news came with a sudden rush. Happiness is rare in life, and even when we pretend to be happy, sadness can come to us at any time. Like the events that we see in photos, books, and movies, the news made our blood boil. Everything we saw and heard became crystal clear in our minds. When the phone rang, it was as if we were playing a real character in the story. The coincidences came at the right time, and the images came one after another, like a real movie being shot outside. We had to run from wherever we were. We focused on running towards the hospital. We couldn't stop thinking about the hospital bed and we didn't want to stop until we saw something.

It seemed like the rain was getting heavier outside. It seemed like the rain was pouring down like a rainstorm outside. My father was lying on the hospital bed, exhausted. He was also given oxygen. His chest heaving and rising seemed like a long-distance runner, feeling guilty, exhausted. The knowledge that it wasn't too late was actually quite comforting, but I had to walk around the emergency room, walking around, one day at a time. Let's just say... the worries in my heart that I couldn't let go of.

(4)

Even after spending many days in the hospital, my father was smiling and trying to forget about the rest of his life and the troubles in the world. Those were the days when he had to focus on keeping his family's hearts from breaking, rather than on money.

Those were the days when I thought that my father was still alive in the world, and the rest were just dust. These days, I only had to live because I had to die. Even though I knew that my father was still alive, I was sure that my father's kidneys were completely damaged. Those were the days when I had to work hard to recover all the organs except one kidney in the hospital.

My mind is on the future days of my father, who will be with me when I leave the hospital. I am trying to think about how to continue to live many memorable days with my father and family. Tomorrow will come, even if I don't have time to prepare and write in advance. I also think about what is best for a patient who is recovering from a long illness, and I also try other ways to make it easier, so I am planning a situation for my family even though I am not feeling well. In many human beings, the world, and the world, everyone experiences, but I also have a little experience with a life that is not planned.