Daw Yee Kyin - As cold as hot

The mind is the main thing.

Every time I visit Mr.... and Mrs.......'s house, Mrs....... is always sick. Stomach aches, headaches, indigestion, etc. A young man told me about my friend and his wife, "Even if I sit at their house for a long time, I feel sick."

Another young man complained, “Oh my God, if you try to save and have extra money, the woman at home will get sick. She will spend all the money she has saved on medical expenses. I would say that she has been unwell for a long time. She gets better and then gets worse. She gets dizzy, her heart beats, she gets weak, she has indigestion. The doctors said there is nothing special and they just give her medicine.”

Another woman friend said, “Mom, my father is retired and whenever I ask him about his health, he just says he is not feeling well. My sister does all the chores. But because of work, I can’t be with him all day long. That’s another matter. When guests come to our house, he says, “My wife doesn’t care about anything except her work. She leaves me with the students.”

"In every marriage these days, both partners have to work. He retired and my sister had to earn more. Can you tell me how to solve this problem?" I asked for advice.

Even after marriage, they still have problems before they fall in love. “My wife is upset about 30 times a month. When I live with my mother, she is upset and doesn’t leave her room, doesn’t eat or drink, and the whole house is unhappy. She can’t say anything about her upset. She is jealous of me. When you see her, please tell her a little bit.” There are also those who ask for help.

In Western countries, there are social welfare departments. When the above cases occur, the concerned parties report to the social welfare departments, and the responsible persons go to the departments where the information is received and study the environment of the couple. Both are called in to discuss. In some areas, relevant religious figures are called in to discuss. Those who handle such cases are usually people who have studied psychology and social sciences and are knowledgeable. There are cases that can be resolved, and there are those who do not accept the solution and break up.

Our country is a Buddhist country, so we are calm and content. We are tolerant and forgiving. Those who come from families where parents teach their children the religious teachings of marriage and have a system of rules and regulations rarely face problems when they get married. When a son and daughter who are brought up by their parents' whims and fancies get married, problems often arise.

The Houston Police Department in Texas once distributed a handout called "Basic Reading for Parents on Raising Young Offenders." The handout stated:

(1) Give your child everything he needs from a young age. He will believe that he will get what he wants in life.

(2) If your child is swearing obscenities, laugh. He will believe that he is a good person who can make others laugh.

(3) Don't teach your child to be religious and morally separate. When he grows up, he will become religious and morally separate. He will worship the religion he likes. Leave it alone.

(4) Do whatever he needs. Keep whatever he throws away. He will expect others to do all his duties in the world.

(5) Show your children that you are angry and argue often in front of them. This will make it easier for them to understand if the marriage breaks down in the future.

(6) Give him as much money as he wants. Don't let him be poor like his parents.

(7) Give him whatever he wants to eat, drink, or wear, as he pleases.

(8) No matter what child you are fighting with, always stand by your child. Even if the neighbors, police officers, or teachers complain, always stand by your child.

(9) When a child grows up and faces great hardship, they will only complain, "No one else can do it, so now they can't do anything."

(10) That kind of parent is only prepared to wipe away tears with his knees for the rest of his life.

"You will surely encounter great suffering." There are 10 points written. If the children born to the above parents get married, they will not be able to provide happiness to their spouses in any way.

If you look at the households mentioned at the beginning of the article, you will see that one person is extremely selfish, wants the world to care about them, and believes that everyone else must provide for them in order for them to live comfortably and comfortably.

The husband is an educated official, and the wife is literate, but when she is unable to fit into her husband's circle, she loses her self-confidence, and whenever she has to go out or have a guest come to the house, she becomes ill. In fact, it can be concluded that the illness starts with a person becoming dizzy, dizzy, dizzy, etc. This behavior is to gain his favor.

Another issue is that when young women get married, they often have issues with their reputation. When their husband earns money and cannot dress and move like other wives, they become depressed. When the husband does not care about his needs or desires, and is honest and stable, the wife is weak and weak, and she is unable to find a job, and when she is not satisfied with everything, she gradually becomes mentally ill. | In a marriage, when both husband and wife work to earn money, their ability to care for each other will certainly decrease. Here, whether it is a man or a woman, someone is too selfish and thinks, “She only cares about her job. My husband doesn’t care” or “Even though I am looking for extra income, he doesn’t even say thank you. He still has to earn money, so it’s good to know.” When this happens, the marriage will definitely be unstable. It is not easy to resolve a relationship if you are dissatisfied and unfulfilled without examining the true state of affairs. If anyone who wants to be happy puts aside their personal interests and takes their responsibilities seriously, their lives will surely become more peaceful.

If everyone who gets married decides to get married with a strong mind, then they will not encounter any problems without external troubles. They will be together with the person they are going to marry for good or bad. If they are willing to correct their own shortcomings and if they are willing to forgive and live in harmony with each other, the husband will fulfill his obligations as a husband and the wife will fulfill her obligations as a wife as much as possible, then they will have the greatest happiness in their marriage.

The most disturbing thing in a marriage is doubt. This doubt can be social doubt, economic doubt, etc. It can be found everywhere. Whether social rules are being violated in social relationships, or whether one party is giving and receiving in business, disputes arise whenever there is doubt.

Jealousy, also known as istha miscriya, can cause problems not only in business but also in love and family. The two spouses will be faithful to each other. If they truly live without cheating, the suspicion will disappear. Jealousy can also be solved by being content with whatever you can achieve and seek, and by being frugal in spending, as per Buddhism.

It would not be wrong to say that being angry, resentful, unhappy, and sick is simply a protest against the fact that we are not getting what we want in many matters.

In any case, there are different types of people, different backgrounds, and different levels of intelligence in the human society, but human problems will continue to exist to some extent as long as the human world exists. However, those who want their children and the majority of people in the world to be happy and content should train their children from an early age to be kind to those around them and not selfish.

The mind, if we are to describe the nature of the mind, means the consciousness and knowing principle in our body. It is not enough for parents to plant the seed of good intentions. In order for that seed to grow, we ourselves must also associate with good people, avoid the foolish, and practice the blessed teachings preached by the Blessed One.

There are many religious and social organizations all over the world that are working to help young people maintain a positive attitude. Today, young people should cultivate their own positive attitudes and live a positive life.