University of Phonaing - Lump Pa Le Ri Theng Ngwe U

Part (1)

Dawn (or nightfall)

I didn't notice that the moonlit summer night was beautiful for me.

The moon is setting. I don't know when I even noticed that. Yes....... the moon is setting. It's outside...... outside my room. And outside my continuum.

I think I can hear the sound of yellow leaves falling. No. It can't be the sound of yellow leaves falling. Have you heard the sound of yellow leaves falling? It can't be. I think it's just the sound of the yellow leaves already falling being pushed by the wind and hitting the ground. I think...

I know when it's night. I know very well when it's a summer night with a full moon. It's hard... How do I know when?

The night seemed so quiet despite the sound of the yellow leaves moving. Well.......the yellow leaves weren't screaming incessantly, and the wind wasn't blowing non-stop............

The wind blows. The yellow leaves scream. The moon also shines....... What's going on...... Everyone is outside. I'm outside....

Buddha... Outside........... Outside... I'm outside. Outside... I'm laughing, I'm laughing....... Outside. I'm killing.

Only from the outside. Oh dear............ Am I alone? Am I alone?............

I stopped walking. As soon as I stopped, I realized that I had been walking backwards and forwards earlier. Can't you walk backwards and forwards in a room that's only about 10 feet wide?

I sat down at the writing table.

My brother... My brother is staring at me in the photo. Yes... staring. He's not smiling. He's not smiling in the photo. But... he's smiling outside too. My brother is smiling.

"Don't smile, Ko Ko.. don't smile, you know? From now on, you'll be better off not smiling."

My desk is cluttered with clutter because the exam is coming up. It's even more cluttered because of the letters from Ko Ko that I've opened and read.

"Little brother...

I miss my younger brother Ko Ko very much. Being separated from my younger brother is harder than when I was young, when my younger brother was so mean and used to punch Ko Ko in the chin. Would my hard-hearted younger brother make fun of Ko Ko? Ko Ko said, "You talk like a woman...". You only talk like a woman, you only talk like a woman... I really miss my younger brother Ko Ko. Oh my... When were we ever separated? And... In this world, Ko Ko and my younger brother are the only two..." That letter was the first letter I received from Ko Ko when I first entered university a year ago.

Another book... I got this one at the beginning of the year. ... Do you know about the bond, little brother? They say it's a bond. They say it's attached. It's something that can't be broken, something that can't be separated. The Dharma says that no one does what is right. For a human being, the Dharma is just a word. Isn't it..... little brother. A voice came into my ear. And then

Lost. In the heart, there is a bond... not just once, not every year, not every third year. It's better to write it like this, not "bond" but "bonded with iron." It's very strong, you know, little brother..."

I understood the meaning (or) the external grammatical meaning of the letter. But I didn't understand the inner meaning at all. Back then...

In another letter, Ko Ko openly opens up about his feelings.

“...Crazy. This is the word that I found. Her beauty is crazy. I wonder if my younger brother, who doesn't imagine beauty, will ask. What is crazy... Do you call it crazy when the children become like the cat in the Ummadanti play, which is performed by the comedians? For example... The goddess of the rain, who is smiling and smiling, is the desire for the world that does not disappear, in this life... if it is not close... great suffering... what is the meaning of... being crazy?

Well...big trouble... Ko Ko's trouble......

I was planning to tell my younger brother when he came back during the school holidays. But I didn't. My younger brother thought that I had found someone who loved me more than him... and that was it.

"Forgive me, I love you too. I love you too. I will tell you who he is when you come back. Oh... I will show you. Your words of "I am crazy" are not enough... Then you decided..."

The next letter is the last one I received from Ko Ko.

"Little brother"...

Spring is coming. The leaves are falling. People... writers... write about the falling leaves, loving them. Falling leaves are lovely. And what about beauty... beauty?

"Little brother"

For Ko Ko, everything has fallen apart. As for expectations... Ko Ko never expected anything. Life started with a negative attitude from the beginning.

I didn't expect it this time. Hope is really a closed eye. It never opens on its own. It only opens when a ray of light shines on it.

Not every color is gold. Not every ray of light is a dawn. Oh.. The Pali word aruna means the first color of the sun, but also the final color of the sunset...

"You're wrong, little brother... You're wrong. You're not afraid of the dark. Everyone comes from the dark. And then they go back to the dark..."

One day I received this mysterious letter.

That evening, the chain letter...

The one who chained me was my aunt. Ko Ko and our aunt.

The lines are short because they are chain letters. Oh.. do you still need to make them longer? The content is too short. Too short in this world...

A tear fell from my eye onto the line of the chain letter.

"....Thun Naung passed away, please come back as soon as possible..."