Khin Maung Nyo (Economics) - Leader and Headless

Can you listen?

Think back to the best boss you have ever met in your life. Why was that boss the best?

What will his skills be?

Can you trust them?

It is possible.

Do they take care of you?

Very possible.

Does he listen carefully to what I say?

Sure.

When we talk about leadership qualities, we underestimate the power of listening. We don't value it. Many leaders don't listen carefully, purposefully, or even try to listen to what others have to say. They think it's just that. They think it's easy. We have two ears. The other person is talking, and I'm listening. And then I say what I want to say. What I want to say is usually more important than what they want to say.

Yes, right?

it is not.

Listening effectively and authentically is one of the fastest ways to build trust in your interactions with others. People trust leaders who take the time to listen to their advice and who are empathetic. Listening effectively is also one of the best ways to learn about what’s going on in your business. It’s also one of the best ways to influence the actions of your team members. If you don’t ask them questions and listen carefully to their answers, you won’t know what’s going on on the front lines.

Becoming a good listener doesn't happen by accident. To become a good listener, you need to practice five basic skills: listening effectively, taking the time, and making the effort.

Five basic things

• (1) Pay attention to physical activity.

Your body language shows that you are interested in the speaker, that you are talking. You understand the topic or are not interested, and that your attention is elsewhere. Are you smiling in understanding, nodding, yawning, staring, etc.? Is your body leaning forward and listening intently, or are you folding your arms behind your back and preparing to argue? Your body language should convey the message, “Go on, I care, I’m listening.”

(A common sign of disinterest is talking on the telephone or using the internet.)

• (2) Asking questions

The best leaders ask questions. They ask a lot of questions. But each question is different. Each has a different purpose. Some questions are used to provide additional information or to stimulate deeper discussion. Clarifying questions help to fully understand what is being said. Some questions are designed to draw out the speaker’s thoughts and make them think more deeply. Some questions can be answered with a yes or no answer. They are used to cut off a conversation or to make a specific point. Leading questions can be used to cut off a conversation.

• (3) Analyzing feelings

It is also necessary to have the ability to respond to the speaker's feelings, not to judge them as good or bad.

It's a way to show that you're aware of the sincerity behind what the other person is saying. You can show empathy by saying things like, "You seem really upset, angry, and distressed." "I think you're angry." This will help build trust and elicit more information.

• (4) Retelling in your own words

“Is that what you meant?” By paraphrasing what the other person said, you can show that you have heard and understood what they said. When you do this, you can show that you are listening to understand and empathizing by repeating key words and phrases, and by repeating back what the other person said. You don’t have to repeat the other person’s exact words. You don’t have to make light of what they said, or make judgments about the situation.

• (5) Summarizing

You should be able to summarize what you have said at length. You don't need to be very specific in your words when you are reciting key ideas, feelings, or actions. You can do this by taking notes, summarizing the conversation, and noting the context of what he or she said. You don't need to be as precise as a parrot. You don't need to add your own interpretation.

Some people don't respond if they don't understand what the other person is saying. If they don't understand or say something wrong, it can be insulting. You can tell whether the other person is interested in what you are saying by looking at their body language. Also, real experts don't have anything to hide, so it's easy to communicate. One thing to note is that different cultures have different body language. The most important thing is facial expressions.

These five things may not seem important, but many leaders don't do them, or don't pay attention to them. Just as a good athlete needs to practice consistently, leaders need to practice these five basic listening skills consistently.

(Reference - The 5 Fundamentals of Effective Listening)