Kyi Aye - The Shadow of the Mirror

Soe and Khaing

The first time I met Soe was one evening near the movie theaters in the city center. Khine would walk around aimlessly, looking for cheap, useless items in the street shops, and would buy them at random. Sometimes he would find old books. He would often touch children's toys. Sometimes he would buy too many and there was no place to put them, so they would sit on the windowsill, on the bookshelves, and in the wardrobe, gathering dust. When they got too many, he would donate them to a children's hospital.

On that uneventful evening, after finishing school early and leaving the shadow of the university, I met Soe in the city center.

Soe came closer, roaring loudly.

“Aren’t you Khaing?” he asked. He knew Khaing and noticed that he called her by her first name. He wanted to laugh carelessly, but he tried to control himself and said, “My name is Hlapwint Khaing.”

“But they only know me as Khaing, right?” “My close friends call me Khaing.”

"I'm very close to you," he said boldly, but Khaing didn't have anything to say, only saying, "I don't even know your name."

“Soe Min, people who are as friendly as you are call you Soe. Listen, it’s good.”

He smiled.

"What do you know about Khaing? I took the same classes as Khaing. I was in the same class as Khaing. I always sat on the bench at the end. I used to teach Khaing every day."

"I see."

Khaing was a little surprised.

"Don't be surprised, I'm a year behind, but I'm still taking the same classes. I'm still a freshman, and Khaing is a senior."

He smiled, but Khaing couldn't smile. He suddenly remembered his brother. If he had a brother, he would be fresher too. They would be like siblings in college together. It would be fun. But.. he cut off his thoughts halfway. He didn't want to think any further. He felt like crying a little. He immediately noticed that Khaing's face was pale and

"Don't be angry, Khaing. I just want to be friends with Khaing. I have no ill will," he apologized.

"It's not good to stand here and talk," he replied.

“Hey, let’s go to the bakery and have some bread and coffee. Khaing is not a busy person. Let me invite you,” he said politely. Khaing was not a person who thought about things in a superficial way. He thought that people should be comfortable talking to each other and becoming friends. He also believed that many people are harmless. They are not rude. If we don’t believe this, life will be miserable. It is full of dangers and people will only be afraid of each other.

As the two of them sat in the bakery, Maung Soe Min felt at ease.

“Thank you, Khaing. It’s really nice that Khaing doesn’t act like that. Thank you,” he said. Khaing smiled slightly.

He is taller than me, but with a youthful face, he can't be any older than me. He's probably younger. He's a year younger than me, so he could be a year or two younger, or he could be a little older than me. But he can't be any older than me. Like a brother.

“Why do you want to know me?” I asked. He still thought it was a bit strange that he would stop and talk to me on the street. Again, let’s be respectful. The way they sat together and talked was also not a bad thing. Khine was not an important person, so I just remembered and smiled because I didn’t know if he wanted to follow Khine like a normal man or woman. He was really pleased. What was there to pretend?

“I don’t think I know for sure that Khaing is very popular in college,” Maung Soe Min began. “We all know that Khaing is handsome, he doesn’t know how to act, he doesn’t have parents, he has inherited a lot of money, he is well-educated, and he is the nephew of the school principal, U Hla Tin. I regularly donate money to the children at Khaing Orphanage and work hard for them every Saturday and Sunday, so I’m interested in it.”

Khaing tried to smile.

“It’s not strange, Khaing Sein Chea became an orphan, so he could be especially kind to those children. Khaing is a good person, so he can make a little money, and he can support the children with money and manpower,” he said.

“I am also an orphan, living with my grandmother. I am not as wealthy as Koon,” said Maung Soe Min, and Khaing felt a pang of pity in his heart as he stared at him. He looked like Tony Stark from the American movie. His little ears were very similar to his brother.

He laughed and said, "I'm selfish. I just want to do what I love. I read. I don't study much at school. I hang out with friends. I watch movies. I play the mandolin. I sing. We have a little band. It's fun."

“I don’t have many friends in the dormitory. Since I’m in the dormitory, my old friends are also day students, so I’m gradually losing touch. And since Khaing is spending time at the orphanage, I spend time with the teachers and workers there. We work together. Today is Friday, so the children only have classes in the morning. I can come to the city now. It’s Friday, so I’m a little bit tired.”

"I know, I'm always watching you," he said, his face turning a little pale as he seemed to be getting a little impatient.

Should Khaing ask why again? Would he think that he was being talked down to? He didn't know why, but since there were so many people who wanted to love him, this experience wasn't so shocking.

"If you have some extra time, would you mind helping out at the Khaing orphanage? We need people to support us," he asked again, drawing attention to himself.

“I don’t know what to do. I know what Khaing asks me to do. It would be good if we could work on these matters together.”

He paused for a moment and then continued.

“But Khaing should also take care of his own life. Don’t think I’m being nosy. I just want to see Khaing happy. Many people say that Khaing is very stubborn. He doesn’t smile or laugh. They say he’s still young. I notice that Khaing’s face is sad from time to time. I feel sad. I think about how to make Khaing happy and cheerful,” he said.

Wait. He's a little too familiar, I thought to myself. I've only seen him recently. I don't remember if I've even made eye contact with him in class. But he doesn't look like a normal kid. His voice is calm. His eyes are dark and deep. His lips are calm. I can't help but trust him, Khaing thought for a long time and didn't say anything.

“As for me, after knowing him for a year, I spoke to him like a really close friend,” he explained.

“And Khaing, those who die will die. Those who remain will live, live, do what they have to do, and eventually die again. Our world is a real world of samskaras. I don’t think I’m a dharma-loving person and I’m talking about this, but in fact, my way of thinking is not even Buddhist. I’m too attached to life, with no desire to give up anything. What I mean is that we need to find happiness in every moment of our lives. My grandmother is over 70 years old, but she’s very modern. That’s a very good idea.”

The two of them laughed and Khaing felt lighter and clearer. Maung Soe Min was a good listener. He was close to Khaing as he said. I don't know if he often said he wanted to love Khaing. He looked young but spoke like an adult. What kind of books would he read? What kind of movies would he watch? What kind of music would he listen to? What kind of things would he do in life? He asked Khaing how he would live in life.

"I haven't seriously considered anything. I'll still be in school for at least another (2) years. I can just ignore school and pretend I'm in school."

"So I'll have to stay in school for three more years," he said firmly.

I was speechless, so I searched for words and spoke again.

“What will you do after you finish your B.Sc., will you continue school or work?” Khaing asked again.

In fact, he was asking himself: What should Khaing do?

He/She

"It depends on the situation," he said.

I don't think I want to say that I'll do everything like Khaing does. If he says that, it's a bit too much. He watches intently as Khaing smiles and his face brightens.

“When do I have to start working at the orphanage? Should I start this Saturday? Should I pick up the khao, should I pick up the khao? I know that the khao usually goes to those places by car. I have been friends with the khao driver, the old man, Sa Bu, for a long time.”

Khaing laughed lightly. He seemed to be a very organized person. Khaing had no right to object. Khaing must be a man who could be trusted. How old was he? Was he very young? That was very important. Khaing was about to turn 20.

"He's younger than me, like a little brother," he started talking.

"I'm not young, I'm about to turn 20, and I'm not like my brother, I'm the same age," he quickly denied.

"I don't want to talk," he said, looking annoyed.

"I'm only two years away from turning 20," he said, and the two of them laughed again.

"Well... if you don't want to call me Maung Soe Min, would you like to be called Ko Soe Min? That's right, Ko Soe Min," Khaing said, and they prepared to leave the bakery.

“Are you still walking around Khaing?” “Why?”

“I’ll have to follow you from a distance until Khaing returns to school, as fate would have it… I want to know if that’s what Khaing likes, or if I should just follow him and talk to him.”

Kai rolled his eyes.

"Khaing also talks a lot. I don't think he can speak as fluently as him. It's good to talk and listen while walking."

“Khaing is actually more talkative.” They were really interacting as if they had known each other for a long time. I think that Khaing was also good at interacting with people in the same way. Appropriate