Kyi Aye - Love Lamp

That night, White had a dream that she had always dreamed of. In the dream, she went to see her father, who was already dead and suffering in hell. Father was five times bigger than he was before, his head stuck between the beams of the building, like a house or a tower. Father was pounding his hammer and chisel nonstop. White thought he had woken up for a moment. Outside, the night was as quiet as ever. A leafless branch from the white maple tree next to the bedroom window was rustling against the glass. The branch that was within reach was a white maple, and the remaining flowers were blooming, but she didn't know if it was a dream. Why would a white maple bloom in this autumn? She thought she would wake up in the morning, but the white maple flowers had become dim bulbs.

As I watched, the lights went out, and White was walking slowly along a narrow forest path. I could still hear the rustling of branches through the window. The scent of white flowers was also wafting through my ears. The wind was blowing hard, and it was a quiet, cool night. It was getting dark, and I remembered that I was alone, and I was still afraid. I saw Ko U. Ko U ​​was holding a lantern at the bend in the road. The lantern was old, and it was beautiful, decorated with iron flowers and branches. It gave off a blue light. It was a light that was soothing to the eyes. Then it rose into the sky and became like a full moon. White said that in his dream, Ko U's little lantern, which was hidden among the clouds, was a moon.

The dream ended there as usual, but it didn't disappear, it stayed that way until dawn came and I woke up. When I woke up, I saw the first rays of sunlight outside. My father was dead. I was going to call Ko U. Ko U ​​easily. Ko U's number was seven-one-one-five-five. And how easy it was to remember the numbers, child.

White quickly changed his face. He looked at the clock and it was almost seven o'clock. Ko U ​​must have called before 8 o'clock. Or he would have been able to catch him at around 11 or 12 if he had been checking on the patients. Ko U ​​must have missed the call yesterday. At that moment, White's head went blank and he was shocked. He didn't want to think about yesterday. Yesterday, his father hadn't died yet. It was only at night, when the remains of the white carnations bloomed, that he realized that his father had died. It was only at night that he met Ko U. White was afraid that it would take him too long to eat, so he took a glass of milk from the plate that had been placed on the table next to his bed and drank it quickly.

Seven-one-one-five-five. White's hands were shaking. His chest was pounding and he was moaning, "Ko Oo...Ko Oo." He needed to see Ko Oo. Ko Oo was worried about White. He would make arrangements. He was a very kind, loving Ko Oo.

When he heard the call from the other side, he picked it up and heard Ko U's familiar "Hello" voice, and White was happy. So he laughed a little and said, "Ko U, White."

"White...white?" he heard Ko U's trembling voice.

“White, what are you doing?” “White, have you remembered Ko Oo again?”

“Oh... when did you forget, brother? You call me every day, right?” White shook his head, wondering if he would ever be able to clear his head. Yes, he did, every day.

"Where did you get Kou's phone number?"

“It was carved in Ko U’s lamp at night. Seven-one-one-five-five, and then it was empty. Ko U, what’s wrong?”

I heard him laugh and I felt a little uncomfortable. He was so mean. Why did he want to laugh?

"White, I'm having that dream again."

“Yes. Don’t you remember, brother? We talked all night, Bai, didn’t we? I was supposed to come in the morning. I saw my father. I feel so sorry for you, brother. Bai wants to cry, so much. I don’t know what to do inside. I feel so sorry. But he died, Bai, and there’s nothing I can do. But Bai is alone. How can I continue to live in this big house? At night, the window panes rattle. It’s not scary. But that sound makes me even more scared. I really want to see you too. Bai, come.”

He heard a sigh. Then Ko U ​​said in a voice that was half sad and half happy. “White, get ready, I’ll arrange to come to Ko U. I’ll call Ko U ​​White’s father right now. If the phone rings, don’t pick it up. Listen to me.”

White said, “Yes, darling,” and hung up the phone. Then she continued eating her breakfast. She had to refill her glass with milk from the milk jug. The phone rang, but she didn’t pick it up. She thought it was from her father’s room. The ringing stopped. She didn’t think anything of it and went to the dressing table. In a two-tone pearl nightgown, with long braids on both sides, White looked beautiful in the mirror. She was beautiful. She wanted to be beautiful for her father.

At that moment, I remembered to get up and see if there were any white carnation flowers. White's white carnation flowers bloom regardless of the season. It is true that they bloom most during the rainy season. They bloom in a beautiful and cheerful manner, filling the entire white room. However, the last time the white carnations bloomed was always a sad and sorrowful time. Because I could not help but befriend someone who loved white carnations. Sometimes, I could not bear it anymore, so I would go out of the window and pick all the white carnation flowers I could reach, put them in a small ceramic flower pot shaped like a palm on the bookshelf, and cry bitterly. Who would I give the white carnations to?

When my father saw me like that, he would get very angry. My father would even raise his hand as if he was going to hit me. White didn't even try to run away. He didn't even try to dodge. He would just stay still, thinking that he was going to be hit. My father would not let his anger subside, but he would turn away with a frown. Then, in my father's room, which was next to White's room, I would hear the sound of footsteps walking back and forth. I would hear the sound of books being pushed off the table as if he couldn't control himself. And then I would hear the sound of fists hitting the table repeatedly.

Dad is very angry. It's so sad...

So when my father died, I felt so sad. It was good to feel sorry for him. I couldn't even look at him. I wanted to cry. But now that my father is dead, I have to leave this house. I have to go to Ko U. Going to Ko U ​​is very important. I've been waiting for this.

He remembered that he had been looking for white carnation flowers earlier to give to Ko U. White ran nimbly to the window and opened the door, and a cool breeze filled with the scent of white carnations rushed in. As he took a deep breath of the cool air, White remembered that he was happy. Where were the white carnations? Did they really bloom? In his dream, they turned into fire flowers. Oh...they bloom in autumn too. Very few. When he peered through the leaves, he could see a part of the white, slender flowers. He thought he had been lucky. Two flowers were blooming within reach. One for White, one for Ko U. Wow... the one that hit the edge of the window pane was one. Did the white carnation flower get injured when it hit the sharp corner of the window pane? He had to sit on the window sill and swing his hips to pick it. That one flower was a flower for White and Ko U's love. The white-flowered baby was pure and fresh, without any injuries. It was a good sign.

White walked to the mirror, holding three white marigold flowers in his right hand. Then he placed them on a small silver vase. When they met the pale silver, the white marigold flowers turned yellow like incense.

One flower for Bai, one flower for Ko U. One flower for the love that Bai and Ko U ​​have. It's so beautiful.

When I sat down at the mirror, I could see her clear, white face. Oh... haven't you done anything yet? Ko U ​​said, I need to take a shower, do my makeup, and then put on some fresh, cool perfume. But what color should I wear?

I had once told you that I liked you, and I chose a white one, which was gradually scattered with yellow roses. Everything about you came to mind. I remembered to pin the rose brooch that you had given me, made of gold from Ceylon (Sri Lanka). Where is it? Where did you keep it? I know. In the inner corner of the top shelf of the wardrobe. In a black velvet box. When I pulled out a chair and picked up the white one, I saw that the child was covered in dust. Why hadn't I dusted it? How many days had it been since I had dusted it? It must have been months.

The top shelf of the wardrobe is full of interesting items. All of them are gathering dust. How long has this section been forgotten?

White was almost dizzy. White's chest was throbbing and he was panting. He was breathing heavily and rapidly. He closed his eyes for a moment and leaned his head against the wardrobe to feel better. However, his mind was immediately alert, and with trembling hands he immediately looked at the interesting items on the top shelf of the wardrobe, one by one. All of them were the items that Ko U ​​had bought.

The first seven books that White flipped through were the red-covered books called The Greatest Short Stories from Around the World. He remembered that he had almost finished reading all of them. Not only had he read them, but he had even translated some of them. He had never finished them. Ko U ​​laughed and said, “Oh... White wants to be a great writer. Don’t translate too much,” he teased. White was embarrassed, and he said, “Just kidding. White, I wonder if you’ll be like Virginia Woolf if you write.” And he remembered Ko U’s eyes welling up. White wondered why.

The next book was called "Physical Pleasure." White blushed a little. He felt ashamed. He wanted to say, "Oh, it's really bad." When he asked him to read the book and tell him what he had read, his face immediately blushed. He felt ashamed. He said, "It's really bad." As usual, White laughed and said, "Keep it, it's a very rare book."

And two books of love poetry.

Every book just says, "White, beautiful."

"It's Ko U's delicate nature," Baitu thought, wiping the dust with a handkerchief and putting his signature to her lips.

Then the music CDs.

Nat Shin Naung, Sanda Kein Nari, Moe Dewa, Mae Khu Myaw, Chit Re Sin. These are the records that Ko U ​​collected during the British era before the war. White, songs that he memorized as a child and sang them aloud. And White, songs by Ko Saw Nyein that became famous the year he graduated from ninth grade. Jasmine, Cham. And White, the sad and heartbreaking song, Twilight.

For now, the happy and bright white only moaned in a longing voice.

"Friends of the boats,

Please help the person who is in love...

If you encounter a road, I want you to call me, I will buy a blue sky and a twilight night.

"Sunny, I miss you."

And a set of four French learning CDs.

Oh, the dust is also accumulating. The dust is not only on the film paper bag, but also enters through the paper bag and makes the film wet. I have been forgetting about it for days by looking at the dust. How many months have passed? Why haven't the films been opened? When did they store them on the top floor? Did they store them in white?

It seems that there are many beautiful things that are gathering dust. Yes, this money is the flower pot that Ko U ​​gave to Bai on his birthday. He planted yellow roses to spread. Ko U ​​loves roses. It is not a matter of taste, but the song “Don’t give me red roses, I don’t want to give you roses” makes me want to sing in my heart. I don’t know if it’s because I saw a set of three red Japanese enamel cups. There are also various porcelain flower pots. Some of them I don’t remember when and how I gave them, and I feel sorry for not remembering. Then my head became foggy. It was like watching many shadows intertwine with each other. Some were clear, some were faint. The shadows were overlapping. If I pulled them out one by one, they would all be clear on the palm of my hand. But how should I pull them out one by one? I will have to ask Ko U ​​when I meet him.

I got an idea. I'll take all of this to Ko U. With the clothes box, there will be two boxes, so be it. I can't leave the things that Ko U ​​gave me. Let's dust them first. Wipe them with a wet cloth and then immediately wipe them with a dry cloth. Ko U ​​laid his things down one by one on the floor. A half-length photograph of Ko U, with a sweet smile on his face and a yellowed face, fell out of a poetry book. There was no dust on the photograph. "To Ko U, with much love and prayers," it was neatly written. The name tag "Hla Oo" was pressed to Ko U's lips again.