Kyi Aye - Returning Home Weary

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I'm exhausted.

Tin May had to breathe deeply and steadily. She wondered if she would even breathe if she had to inhale and exhale deeply. Her chest was so tight, especially her left chest. The tightness in her chest had risen to her throat, and Tin May had to cough in pain.

When she spit out her saliva far away, she saw red. The salty, sweet taste in her mouth was sweet and sour. She wiped her lips with the rain-soaked handkerchief, and saw blood smeared on it. Tin May felt sad, but she smiled and watched as the blood mixed with the rain spread across the handkerchief.

Coughing up blood.

"It's a disease called "T" (Thai: การ

Tin May laughed happily. Tin May and this disease are so familiar that they don't even know what to be afraid of. Or maybe they're not afraid anymore because they can't escape it. Tin May has realized that there is no way to escape this disease.

The doctor's words were quite interesting. What if Tin May's lungs were no longer lungs but cocoons? Ever since Tin May overheard those words, she had been seeing a large, brown, rotten mass between her liver and heart that was no longer lungs.

In front of Tin Mee, the doctor was smiling happily and softly saying, "Don't be afraid, I will cure you."

Tin May is not taking the injection. What good will it do? The fastest death is the fastest cure. In this situation, why should she live a short life? And the whole house is afraid of the deadly disease and the sick. Whooping cough is still contagious...

Sometimes the doctor would give in. Of all the people I had ever met, I thought that the doctor was the most unconcerned with money and the most kind-hearted. He came to Tin May through the fields of Myara Kone, where snakes were abundant, as if he were the King of the Night. Tin May did not know, and Tin May pretended to believe everything the doctor said. She was given an injection.

"Don't be weak, my daughter," he would say.

No matter what kind of words Tin May hears, nothing happens. Who knows better than herself? If she looks in the mirror, she will see that her dark brown hair is dry and dripping with smoke, her pale skin and flat lips, her eyes are bright and shining, and the little flame of life is burning faintly and faintly inside Tin May.

Even with the cough and blood, it was very similar to the image I saw about ten days before my younger brother passed away.

Therefore, no matter what kind of words I hear, Tin May's mind is not at all. I only think about the last day of my life. It is not as close as I thought, and I can't even wait. I think I have reached the bottom of the wave and I see it crashing against the rock, but I am angry that the last wave has risen again. Rising to the top of the wave is not good either. Isn't it only to tumble down into the abyss of waves that are twice as high as before? It is beautiful and hidden.....

Tin May felt a pang in her heart, her nose was stuffy, her mouth was filled with blood and sweat, and she was in pain.

I believe that there are more times than not when I think about going crazy because of it. When the disease gradually gets worse and gets better, I get angry. I have suffered so much that I even consider death a “savior.” At that time, Tin May could not get out of bed and would grind her teeth until she could no longer get up. When she could, she would go to Myara Kone Stream, which was more than two hundred yards from the house.

Now look... Myarakonchaung in front of Tinmei.

Usually, I would come here hesitantly, look at the water, and then return home. But this time, I had made up my mind.

I had to leave the house to get to this place. Yesterday, I could only walk in the yard. Yesterday, the days before yesterday were days when Tin May was slowly sliding down into a dark, winding abyss. However, I had already experienced it before, and even as I was rolling on the bed, I was still reminded that this was not the end of the abyss.

Instead of gritting my teeth and thinking as usual, I kept my head cool and thought and came to the deep waters of Myra Kone.

The people in the house had left while the rain was falling. The wind was so cold. Even though I was wearing a double sweater and a coat, my whole body was still shivering. As the rain fell again, my skin felt numb and I couldn't even tell why. I just froze. My face was wet from the rain and the bottom was dripping wet. My hair felt hot from the rain hitting my head. But I didn't care.

Tired, but still upright, he arrived under the big rhododendron tree by the Myarakon stream. He sat down on the wet ground and, exhausted, the phlegm in his chest rose to his mouth, and he coughed and spat it out. Cold and coughing blood. But he didn't care, he didn't care.

Tin May wanted a stronger word than "don't care."

Even as she coughed, spitting up blood, Tin May stared at the water of the Myaragone stream.

The most delicate raindrops were running on the surface of the water. It was not as smooth as the surface of the undisturbed summer, but rather as rough and rough as the surface of the water. In the summer, Tin May had thought that sitting on the surface of the water, like a smooth rock, would be enough. Now the surface of the water was soft. Tin May could have sunk into the deep forest below.

When the wind blew hard, the raindrops that had been resting on the branches and leaves of the rhododendron would fall in a splatter. Tin May was overcome with emotion and had to wipe her face with a bloody handkerchief.

When the wind is strong enough to shake the branches of the rhododendron, the bright green rhododendrons fall in a heap. Some fall on the sandy and sandy ground behind the dam and roll around. Some fall on the soft mud at the foot of the dam and remain half-submerged. Some fall into the water of the ravine and drift away.

Tin May was fascinated by the sight of the rhododendrons falling into the water. The large rhododendron tree leaned towards the stream, casting its shadow in the middle of the stream. The rhododendrons often fell into the stream.

Hey..look, it's a broken one again.....look at the broken picture.

The water was churning and churning, and the rhododendrons were splashing and splashing, then they sank for a moment and reappeared. Small and large fountains rose and fell around them. Then the ripples moved. Then...