Mya Than Tint - Pan Ti Pwint's Murder Room Short Stories

Once upon a time, you and I met by chance in a biscuit shop. In my mind, I thought that I had matured a lot, that I no longer had the kind of jumping around that only young people have when they meet their lover. Oh, well... if I think about it, it's a lot of thinking. It's been a long time since you and I were like yellow leaves that were blown away by the wind and separated from each other. Now, we've been together for over 12 years, almost 13 years.

During these more than 12 years, I have also had a wife and sons and daughters, and you have also had sons and daughters, and I have grown up. Isn't the little girl who has been with you for 12 years your daughter? Her eyes and eyebrows look just like yours.

When I got to the biscuit shop, you were in the front row, and I was sitting in the row directly behind you. Really, Ma Khin Wai, if I had known that you were the only one in the biscuit shop that night, I wouldn’t have come. Not just here, but wherever you were, I wouldn’t have come. In fact, I am a person who thinks highly of myself. I thought that the wound I had because of you had healed and that you could no longer control my heart. Another thing is that we, you guys, have passed the age of imagination and have met with more than 30 years of life experiences, so I thought that our imaginations are no longer as beautiful and fragile as when we were young. Actually, I think it would be strange if I thought so. We guys have passed the age of imagination and have reached a mature age, where we can think about the benefits and the consequences, and distinguish between good and bad. Really, Ma Khin Wai, In fact, our age, as Shakespeare said, has reached the spring. There is no youth before us. Only winter remains in the middle of our lives.

That's why I thought I couldn't jump around like I was when I was young. My life had reached spring. That's why I thought I was mature enough. But Ma Khin Wai..., last night when I met Ma Khin Wai in the biscuit shop, all my preconceptions were in vain. Whenever I saw Ma Khin Wai, my heart started to jump around like before. I felt the same unspeakable pain as before. When Ma Khin Wai turned to greet me, I turned my face away so that they wouldn't meet. In fact, although Ma Khin Wai and I have only been in this life, is it not good to meet, call, answer, and say goodbye in a worldly way? But I don't want to say goodbye to you. The old wound that hurt me so much has resurfaced in my heart. I don't want to hide it by pretending to be hot anymore. Actually, I should be the one to hide the past between you and me and talk to you in a worldly way, right? But I don't do that. Ma Khin Wai..., I only want to express what's in my heart. In fact, I'm not a creature who understands worldly things, I'm just a wild person.

The actress in Biscuit is your and my favorite actress. I wonder if that's why we met. When you and I watched it about 12 or 13 years ago, I think she was only in her 20s. We weren't even 20 at the time. Now, we've grown a little bit older. Our favorite actress has also grown older because she lost her youth, just like us. Well... we've reached the spring age in our lives, Ma Khin Wai...

Some say that this age is the age of maturity. That's why they say that they don't have the same heart-pounding feelings as when they were young. I thought the same thing at first, Ma Khin Wai. Now that we have sons and daughters, our hearts are so tired of beating and worrying about these sons and daughters, and we thought that our hearts can't beat as fast as they used to. But Ma Khin Wai.. that's not true. When we think back to the past, our hearts still beat as fast as they used to, they haven't stopped beating. I think that the beating of our hearts for love will never stop.

Look... After finishing the biscuits, you and I got up from our seats. You held your daughter's hand, and I held the shelled peanuts in my hand. I glanced at you. You lowered your eyes. You didn't make eye contact with me. Then I lowered my eyes again, not wanting to make eye contact with you. When I lowered my eyes, I thought you would be looking at me like I was. The truth is, we don't dare to make eye contact with each other. If we did... we were afraid that those eyes would reveal the pain inside us. People were lining up in front of you and me, so we moved slowly between the two rows of chairs. At that time, my heart was beating fast. I wondered if I would be rude or insensitive if I didn't say hello. That's why I tried to greet you in a polite way, Ma Khin Wai, really. But my mouth was closed. Not a word came out. And so you and I came to the entrance. Oh... You and I met again at the entrance to the cinema. You looked at me. When I realized you were watching, I lowered my eyes. When I looked back, you lowered your eyes. Yes... Ma Khin Wai, we don't dare to look at each other. If our eyes met, we would be worried that those eyes would reveal what we had been hiding inside. In fact, that is a concern. I have children and daughters, and you have children and daughters, so I don't want to bring up these things again, right?

The audience looked at the two of us standing in the doorway and left. I wanted you to leave in front of me. I wanted to see your whole body and follow you. You wanted me to leave in front. It was as if you wanted to judge my skinny condition. So we stood there in the doorway. When your daughter said, “Mom, come here, I’m done,” you lowered your head and turned away in shame. In fact, this little time didn’t last long. It was just a moment. But to me, it felt like a world.

When we got outside, it was raining heavily. Now... two people who didn't dare to make eye contact met again. It was raining so hard that I couldn't leave the theater. I didn't have an umbrella so I just stood there, smoking a cigarette pointlessly. You were standing there talking to a friend. In the middle of your conversation, you heard your brother complaining that the car hadn't arrived yet. After a while, a pale, stocky man came up and took your daughter by the hand.

“Wow, I’m sorry, I’m a little late.”

I heard a voice apologizing. I thought that your brother must love you very much.

After you left, I was standing under the biscuit shop because it was still raining for a long time. That day, I went out to ask the magazine publishers for a painting commission. My wife was sick at home, and my eldest son was also sick. I didn't have enough money for medicine or food, so I went out hoping that I would get the painting commissions I had drawn. But... after meeting you, I didn't want to go anywhere. I returned home with a confused mind, like a person possessed by a demon.

When I got home, my whole body was soaked with rain. My wife, who was lying in bed, asked, “Did you get the money?” My daughter asked, “Daddy, what did you buy for me?” I yelled at both my wife and my daughter, who were lying in bed. In fact, I usually love my children very much. But this time, I was being rude. My daughter saw my sad face and ran to her mother crying. My mother was comforting her daughter. My wife didn’t say anything to me. In fact, I was trying to blame the innocent.

I sat down on the chair without changing my clothes. I thought back to the painful story of you and me.

Do you still remember... Ma Khin Wai...?

( 2 )

You and I went to university together in 1946. You and I took the same courses.