Maung Thein Seng - Love Field Field

[ 1 ]

I fell back to earth.

The air from the land is not fresh, not clean. It smells of smoke and the pungent smell of gasoline. The appearance of the land is not green, not lush. It is crowded with shacks and houses. It is always crowded with people and vehicles.

When I breathe in fresh, clean air, scented with pine and eucalyptus, I feel uneasy when I breathe in air that smells of smoke and gasoline. When I see green, peaceful landscapes, I feel uneasy when I see a complicated landscape. When I hear loud noises in a quiet place, my head starts to spin.

In fact, landing back in Yangon was like being suddenly awakened from a deep sleep.

As soon as we stepped out of the station, we saw a scene of activity like a bee. We heard loud noises. We saw the appearance of Yangon, which was bustling with activity every day, like a festival.

But this land is for me a place of fresh water and fresh grass. It is the place where I make my living. No matter how far I run from this land, one day I will return to it.

The events that happened while I was away from this land are like a dream to me. When I think about it, it becomes a source of joy. It is said that the days, hours, and nights that have passed cannot be replaced. That is true. Not only the days and hours that have passed, but also the events that have passed cannot be replaced.

If possible, I would like to return to the time when I had not met Maythin Aung at the Inya Lake Hotel. Or to the days when I had not met Aung Pan at the farm.

I want to go back to my past life, when I lived in a small apartment, lonely, and contentedly writing.

If that were the case, I wouldn't have any reservations about returning to that land. It would be like returning to a place I've always visited. My mind would be free. I would be able to laugh and be happy, meeting my long-lost friends.

But now it's not like that. My chest hurts. My mind is reeling. I'm afraid to even step foot on the ground again.

Either they will meet again with Maythin Aung or with Le Le. They never know how much more fate will punish them.

It would be like what May Thin Aung said. It would be like saying that if you were angry and went to sit by the riverbank, you would be swept away by the water. If you wanted to avoid May Thin Aung, you would leave Yangon and go to the fields. The fish would be thrown into hot oil. To escape the hot oil, it would jump out of the pan. Then, when you were told that you would be thrown back into the fire, you would not be surprised.

I feel sorry for May Thin Aung. I feel sorry for Le Mel.

Even so, I had to bear the burden of grief and set foot on the ground.

I returned to my apartment after being away for days. I had to clean the dust that had accumulated. I had to chase away the golden rats that were always there when I was away. I had to chase away the spiders that were making their homes everywhere. I had to get rid of the cockroaches that were crawling around between the bookshelves.

Then I sat down cross-legged in a chair.

My whole body ached. I was weak. I was feeling heavy and sluggish as a result of drinking alcohol. I closed my eyes. Although my body was calm, my mind was still not at peace. I could see May Thin Aung. I remembered the things I had missed and yearned for about May Thin Aung. Then I thought about Le Mel. I remembered the times I had been happy and sad about Le Mel.

I have reached the old place. If it were like the story of Maung Po and the Golden Tiger, it would be good. If the conclusion were that the tiger entered the dungeon, Maung Po entered the village, and the wise Ko Shwe Yoon entered the forest, I don't know how much better it would be. In this way, we would be able to get back the time that we can no longer get back. The pain and sorrow in our hearts would be reduced.

I didn't believe in prayers when I was young. I didn't have the faith that I would get what I asked for. Now I'm asking for a reward. I'm praying that what I asked for will be fulfilled. I'm praying that everything will go smoothly. .

But even as I prayed, I felt less confident in prayer. I thought prayer was a comfort for the weak.

When it comes to matters of the heart, even the mighty Julius Caesar was weak. Even the mighty King Thao Min Saw was weak.

I am just an ordinary human being.

In the early days, I consoled myself as someone who had just returned to my old place. I acted as if I had not yet met Maythin Aung, as if I had not yet encountered Le Mel. I continued writing the unfinished novel. I went to the printer and gave him the manuscript I had written.

There, Hla Hla Aye greeted me with surprise.

“Ah, Ko Nyi Nyi. You’re still alive in this big world, Se Ko,” she remarked. “We’re wondering if something happened when Ko Nyi Nyi suddenly disappeared. Will the police have to go and put a missing person notice in the newspaper?” “I’m glad none of that happened, Aye.”

Then I met U Lin Aung. “Are you still angry with me?” he asked. “It’s not right for you to leave angry because of what I said.”

“My departure has nothing to do with you, U Lin Aung.”

“If that’s the case, I’m happy. In fact, what I told you was a sincere gesture. I want you to become a writer. No matter how good an artist is, no matter how talented they are, if they don’t create art, they will inevitably fail, brother. Let’s say you’re a successful movie actress. If you don’t make any movies, your name will definitely disappear from people’s lips. It’s good to write about it while you’re still making a name for yourself.”

I don't want to argue with him. I don't want to try to explain what he said. I think it would be better to remain silent. This is also true. His words are as true as they should be. In himself, he is himself with his feelings. He is himself with his feelings.

However, despite not wanting to argue, I said one thing.

"But no matter how many movies she makes, that actress is not always popular with the audience, U Lin Aung."

Because of my words, U Lin Aung began to stare intently at my face.

"What do you mean, brother?" he asked.

I have a lot to say.

“Artists mean that not all creations are good. They say that quantity and quality are different. Let’s say. Right now, I have so many personal issues that I can’t write or don’t want to write. If I were to write a piece of writing in between, I would definitely write a piece. But I can’t be responsible for whether the piece of writing that comes out is good or bad. At most, it would definitely be bad. So, isn’t it better not to write at all, U Lin Aung?”

"As I said earlier"

"'Okay, I understand what you're saying. But no artist, including writers, is a god. They are not the owners of a single soul. They don't just say "I'm sorry" and an artwork falls from the sky. It's just the heart and brain that create it. We are human beings too. We have our ups and downs. We have our ups and downs. So when we can't control our emotions, we want to do nothing. If we don't have our minds in the middle, if we create an artwork, it will be good in quantity. If it's not bad in quality, it will be good, right, U Lin Aung?"

“I’ll tell you about your words. When we were young, I was about thirteen years old. I lived in the countryside. Once or twice a year, I would come to Yangon. At that time, there was a successful movie star. He was very famous. Popular. I remember. If you walked along the corridor of the railway station, you would see his pictures in the cinemas. If there were three cinemas, you would see his picture and his name in all three. At that time, in the movies, he was either a rich man or a poor man, an outlaw or a police officer. He was completely silent. At that time, he was almost forty. But even a nineteen-year-old college student could do it. He was a bit of a slob. But today, if you ask him, many people don’t know his name. This is because he did more than he should have done in art. He didn’t think about himself or his family, and he didn’t think about his own fate. "Because I accept it. When a man in his forties showed up to chat with a seventeen-year-old girl, it was natural. At that moment, the audience started laughing. At the same time, the result of his downfall was imminent."

U Lin Aung didn't refute my words, but a look of disappointment towards me was evident on his face.

“But no matter what you say, I will try my best to finish the manuscript for your book, U Lin Aung.”