Dr. Tin Win - Between Life and Death, Our Hearts

Write what you should write, order what you should order.

If there is a funeral in my close community, we have to attend. That is a matter of tradition. If someone dies, I will take care of them, and if someone dies, they will take care of them. This kind of thing doesn't happen much in the beginning, but it happens more and more as time goes on. The older I get, the older my community gets. Even if they don't have a funeral themselves, people older than them often have funerals, and they even have to deal with the funerals that follow.

Every time something like that happens, my daughter's eyes get teary. She sighs. A mother and a daughter, they are so close and dependent on each other, so I watch, thinking that the poor thing must be scared. Now, someone close to her has also died. My daughter opened up and said, "Mom, I'm scared." So I laughed and said, "Mom, I've already made arrangements."

If my mother dies, I will first call Ko Myat Khaing, then I will call another monk in Yenangyaung, and the monk will come quickly and offer the funeral prayer. I have already applied to the monk. I told my daughter that the most important thing is to offer the funeral prayer. I also told my daughter not to worry about the rest of the matters, and Ko Myat Khaing will take care of them. My mother has already told Ko Myat Khaing about this matter. I have already asked for help since I saw Ko Myat Khaing personally helping me with the matters related to the last journey of the writers. Even if my mother opens her mouth and asks for help, Ko Myat Khaing will come.

I have thought about the matter of death a lot. I have been thinking about what to do next. Now, what I want to do next is that Ko Myat Khaing will come to see me since I was sick before I died. I am sure that he will ask if my mother is feeling better when he is sick. If that is the case, I will tell Ko Myat Khaing, take my mother to the hospital no matter what, because in the hospital they can arrange for her to die comfortably with a ventilator and oxygen. That is all I can say. In fact, whether a death is good or bad also depends on one’s morality. It also depends on one’s destiny. I have seen and known that even some great people are tired when facing death. However, take her to the hospital. But knowing that it is no longer possible, I will do everything I can and do what I should do. Don’t force me with anything, let me leave comfortably.

When I have to leave, I want to go while listening to the sermon. No one should cry. If you want to cry, go cry somewhere else. I have to tell everyone to try to speak calmly and honestly in front of my mother.

Another thing I would like to say is that death is like birth. It is important in every society. The customs surrounding death vary. As the level of culture increases, the methods become more diverse. Different times are treated in different ways. Different religions have different methods.

So I will ask Ko Myat Khaing to take care of my case. My mother is a Theravada Buddhist, so we have to do it according to the Theravada way. Some people think that the deceased will stay at home until the 7th day. Ko Myat Khaing took beautiful photos of my mother, so I don't worry about what they will do, such as putting up big photos and giving food to her, but this is not the Theravada way.

While I am still in the present, I would like to tell you a story to complete what I want to say. The story that can vividly show the life of the Theravada monks is the Laza Devamita. Laza Devi should be translated as a little girl who bursts into tears. To return to the story, she was a farmer in her human life. That farmer gave the great sage Kassapa a rice cake in the field and herself popped it. Whenever the great sage Kassapa woke up from his sleep, he would go to the people who deserved to be honored and stop to eat. After that, the poor farmer returned home. He returned with a rice bowl and a frying pan in his hand. On the way home, he crossed a pond and a cobra jumped out of it, and the farmer died.

After dying like that, because of her meritorious deeds, she went to heaven at once, and the heaven of heaven was adorned with white flowers and was as beautiful as the child with white skin. Her name was Lazar Devamita, which can be translated as "little angel's flower". The child angel was not the kind of person who would boast about having divine wealth and being "I am". She wondered why she had become such a wealthy person and looked with her divine eyes. In her previous life, her body was still leaning against the wall of the pond, with rice husks in her hands and pans next to it. Even the people of Thu Thaw village did not know. She had already become a goddess.

The Theravada believes that the passage of life is a continuous one. Don't be so quick to say, "What if I don't meet the venerable Maha Kassapa, or if I don't leave for a long time?" She will go to her proper life without a break. There is charity, virtue, and meditation to rely on in her life. However, the final departure is very important. It is the responsibility of the rest of us to arrange for the mind to be filled with wholesome thoughts and feelings so that the mind is not distracted by the sounds of crying and noise.

Due to unwholesome deeds, one may fall into four categories. One may also become a widow. I will talk about how one can get a fair share of the inheritance even if it is a widow later. In any case, one must be responsible for the inheritance of the surviving spouse. In that case, one must also make donations.

There is no need to be greedy when making donations. The important thing is to make donations to people who are full of virtue. If you are going to divide the money equally, you should make a collection of donations to monks who are full of virtue. This is what Yenangyaung Sa Sayadaw once taught. When giving alms at a funeral, do not forget the monk. Focus on the dignity of the monks and make a donation to the monks. Then invite the deceased to listen to the Dhamma. Ask the guardian spirits and guardian spirits to come and listen to the Dhamma. After listening to the Dhamma, divide the money equally. Call out their names and give them. I do not deny that it is a sad matter. It is not over because I am sad and crying. So, I should calmly give and share. The thing to do is to remember the merits of the deceased and do not let him/her be left behind.

Funerals are not something that should be done in public. I would like to say at once that I would like to put a flower wreath in the newspaper and ask you to be patient. However, I told my daughter with a smile that my mother must allow my daughter's funeral. I was afraid that if I did not send flowers to my mother, who loves flowers, she would be miserable. My daughter still offers flowers to the Buddha and mourns her grandmother. She keeps beautiful vases in the library for my mother. She should be allowed to send flowers to her mother. While writing about this, I also remembered some of my daughters and sisters. Those who said, "If I allow it, I don't mind, but I'm not good at it," will no longer allow it.

I thought that the flower arrangement was just a kind of ceremony. And not everyone who has to save money will be satisfied. People also work hard in various ways. I don’t know. I don’t want others to work hard in any way. The flower arrangement is more exciting because I see it when I go to a funeral. The flowers are beautiful, I think they are ordered from the same place. They are prepared in the same way. They are prepared to a high standard. Even though they are Burmese, all the flowers are written in English. They must have written about how much love and respect they have. I am a stranger, but I know that everything is fine because I am very involved. The beautiful and high-quality funerals are not really known to the deceased. I know that the deceased, who was very knowledgeable and took care of all the younger relatives during his lifetime, will have to experience the small and difficult experience for a long time. A young benefactor treated him with contempt.

I know that when he was a little bit shy in the beginning, he used to be very aggressive when he got the upper hand. Being a little bit shy is not something you can compete with. When you get older, no matter who you are, you become a person, and even if you are a person, you can still fall down. If you have a bad economy, your health will fall down.

The benefactor came late and hurriedly approached the body. He cried for a while. Then he wiped his tears and brought out the flowers with their names to the east. Then he went and talked to the people. So I was very tired of the flower and wreath thing. It is not good to have showy things even at a funeral.

And there is a message. In Myanmar, there is a saying that “one visit is ten visits.” The visit refers to a monastery, and what I mean is that if you go to a monastery ten times and listen to the teachings, you can get the kind of awareness that you get when you go to a monastery ten times. In fact, a funeral is a work of contemplation while looking at something that is no longer beautiful. We gather to remember the merits of the deceased and to comfort the bereaved. Since my mother was young, my grandmother taught me that if I go to a funeral, I should not wear Thanaka on my face or flowers. I should wear clean, decent clothes. I should not wear revealing clothes at the funeral. I should dress and speak according to the time and place.

Now, I look around and talk to people. Some of them are not so funny, but they still make me laugh. My daughter says that writers can't control themselves at their mother's funeral and ask for articles.

As for my mother, I would like to ask Ko Myat Khaing when she will write an article. Ko Myat Khaing is also doing the best she can for my mother, but I think she is wondering where to start writing about it. A person is determined by his or her hobbies and customs. I will also tell Ko Myat Khaing. I have asked my mother about the things that happened before I met you. There will be mistakes. Even if there are mistakes, what will happen, Mom? I think she will smile and say, "It's better if the party is over until my mother is gone."

I don't know what to think when I read the letter I just wrote. There are daughters and sisters who will call me and argue with me about whether I should write without a name or a surname. That woman, Hnin Wai Nyein, if she reads it, she will shout at me in a loud voice and argue with me. Don't try to write like that, mother, you'll just make me feel bad. In fact, the cause of death is the cause of existence. I don't write about non-existence. Mothers tend to be ignorant and servile to death. They pretend not to know the person they don't want to call or dislike next to them and avoid making eye contact with them, as if looking over their heads. If it's a person, they are arrogant. They pretend not to know me, and I don't care, and they will probably leave.

Death is something that no one can avoid. Even Buddhas, monks, and even the Buddhas cannot avoid. It is a natural law that is not tangible, although it is called death. We must tell those concerned that we can be prepared to face death.