Khin Hnin Yu - The Widow's Story

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"I wipe the map every day with a rag to dry it when it's wet."

This is an ancient Chinese story. A young woman buried her husband's body in a grave that was wet after his death. She was told that the wet soil on the grave would dry up before she could remarry, so she went to the grave every day with a shovel to dry the soil.

To put it simply, this is a story of a widow who “wanted a husband too much.”

In ancient China, women and widows were shunned and talked down to. Even looking at this story, we can see the narrow-minded view of young women who were widowed before their due date.

I've heard stories about widows since I was a child, but I never thought it would have any relevance to my life.

However, unexpectedly, at the age of 45, my lover passed away, leaving me a widow. At that time, I felt sympathy for other widows in my life.

Then, rather than the stories of ancient widows, I studied the stories of widows who are now widows, whose reasons for becoming widows are not so clear.

In India, in the past, if you became a widow, you were ostracized and ostracized. In modern times, Indira Gandhi served as the Prime Minister of India even though she was a widow.

In Myanmar, every widow has her own ideas and creates her own life. Tradition does not oppress her.

If we understand and accept that widows are just like other women, with a heart, blood, and flesh, stories that demean widows will not emerge.

Ma Ma Daw May Kyi is not one to care about anyone's criticism or humiliation when it comes to her own beliefs.

I was just a kid. Ma Ma May (that's what I called Daw May Kyi) was a widow at the age of 30, with a minor son and a daughter. Her husband, U Nyan Win, was a great man, not only a scholar, but also a great manager and administrator in running their company. It was the era of licensing, and he had established his own company to handle import and export licenses and was working on Maung Htaw Lay Street in downtown Yangon.

After his death, Ma Ma Mae continued to run the company. Thirty is not a big deal, it is an age when you can enjoy all the beauty and luxury.

Ma Ma Mae is not like some widows who have lost their husbands, she is tall and slender, and she chooses clothes to suit her.

His white nose and bright eyes revealed his courage and character. He had no thick eyebrows. The small, drawn eyebrows bent over his eyes.

If you come to a party, you should dress appropriately. You should dress in a fashionable way to keep up with the times.

I am not close to Ma Ma May. I got to know Ma Ma May through my cousin, Daw Aye Aye Kyi. If I am not as close as my sister, it would be true. My sister also has a clothing store in Bogyoke Market, so they are connected in business, so they are closer than relatives. Whenever Ma Ma May goes abroad for company business, she brings back some clothes and a fancy handbag for my sister. They often go to parties together. They are similar in height, fair skin, and their clothes are well-proportioned, making them look like sisters.

One day I called my sister. I invited her to have rice soup on a Sunday when the market was closed (at that time, the General Market was closed on Sundays). I called her all night long on Saturday, but she didn't answer. I gave up and asked her family to come over the next day.

On Sunday, during the lunch break, my sister came over. I asked her to urinate.

"Where was your sister all evening yesterday? I haven't been able to call you since closing time. It's late at night."

Khin Hnin Yu's older sister spoke calmly while wiping her hands.

“May, I don’t want to talk to you. I had to pick you up by car, it was getting dark in the Golden Valley, the driver didn’t know the way, and May was unsure about finding a house, and it was already 8 p.m.” I didn’t understand what my older sister was saying.

"What are you looking for, big sister?"

“I don’t like the hairdresser’s house to get her hair done, and I don’t like the beauty salon. I have to find Maung Hla Moe’s house at the beauty salon where I like to do my hair. When the shop in town closes, I have to go home.”

"What if I do it in the morning?"

“Ma Su will also go, won’t she? It’s Secretary U San Pe’s daughter’s wedding.”

"Yes, the reception starts at three in the afternoon."

“That reception, we’re having an early morning wedding at home, starting at 7 o’clock. He’s going to be the bride’s special guest. The next day, there’s no time, so he has to find Maung Hla Moe, the night chief, and when he gets home, it’s already 9 o’clock.”

I didn't say anything. I was just surprised that Ma Ma took special care of my beauty.

The next evening at the reception, Ma Ma Mae's hair was really strange. It was like a spiky bun, with her hair braided and braided like a bunch of grapes. I can't explain it. She was so tall and had a diamond ring next to her hair.

On the blue French brocade blouse and the light blue nylon jacket, the flowers were arranged in a perfect pattern. The bride, wrapped in a long white scarf with silver tassels, was even more beautiful than the bride. I was staring at her from afar.

The next month, my older sister came to me and told me about Ma Ma Mae.

“May, why don’t you send your son Ukka and your daughter Mala to London?” “Because he can.” | I said the same thing.

"That's right, Ma Su. I admire her spirit. Even though her husband is dead, she has the pride to educate her sons and daughters to become whole people, to be one person."

“Sister, the English standard in schools like English Methodist in Yangon is not low. They can even take the London Matriculation Examination there. Have the children reached grade 10?”

“The eldest son has arrived, the youngest is in the 8th grade. He will send his children to London. His children will be at the top of their education and in their behavior, no lower than when his father was there. Even now, my daughter, because she doesn’t have a Mercedes, sold the box car that Ko Nyan Win drives and bought a Mercedes. May doesn’t think about how long she can bear that responsibility. Ma Su doesn’t understand anything about trade. Being a merchant is not always good, there is always a future.”

My older sister sighed and spoke softly, but I didn't interfere.