Good luck - success at the time of death

Canal drilling,

Nestled along the banks of the Piscataway River, 90 miles south of the Canadian border, is the small town of Howland, Maine. The sleepy, charming town of Howland is now a tourist attraction, with its large, bald-headed, bald eagle. When you look back to 1894, you can see the secrets of our deepest desires, which defy the indomitable will of the human spirit.

On a July day that summer, Percy Spencer was born. The story of Percy's birth and his family is nothing short of extraordinary.

No. His father, "Jess Spencer," worked at a sawmill in "Holland." His mother, "Martha," was a housewife who did the usual housework of the time. Percy's childhood was completely normal. We're talking about the early years. But "Percy" was a bright, bright boy who started walking.

Tragedy strikes at the sawmill. A large saw blade breaks off its shaft and erodes everywhere it finds itself, eventually hitting Percy's father, who dies instantly.

When the news of his father's death at the sawmill reached his home, his mother was shocked and fainted. The tragedy was more than she could handle, and she never saw him run away from home alone after the incident. Now an orphan, Parsi had no one to look after him. The little rat Parsi was taken in by his uncle and aunt.

Lucky for Paci, he was able to live under the same roof with his loving uncle and aunt, as well as his parents. Paci, who had been with him since he was five, was a fan of mechanical devices. He bought a steam locomotive for his brother to play with. The tracks at home were not ready for the train to run, and the locomotive had to be repaired. Paci's uncle took great care of it. Nothing interested Paci more than machines. He had never seen anything like it before, so he began to wonder.

Percy loves nature and animals. He spends his free time in the forest. He once saw a leopard resting on a branch in the forest. But Percy was still struggling to come to terms with his new life, and another tragedy struck. When he was seven years old, his uncle died. The family was not only emotionally devastated, but also faced huge financial problems, and they struggled to make ends meet. Percy left school after completing the fifth grade and worked as a laborer. The rest of his life was a whirlwind of hunger and poor health. He would work all day at the factory, starting before dawn and returning only after sunset.

I want you to put on Percy's shoes for a moment. Your real parents never knew. Your mother left you when you were five years old. Your uncle loved you like a real father, but he only lived for two years and then he died. You finished fifth grade in school and had to work hard. "People who loved me left me, whether they wanted to or not." Should you blame yourself for the tragedies that have befallen you? "Why did this happen to me?" "Why did my sister leave me?" "Will my life always be difficult? Finally, the difficult soul began to lose its strength.

Difficult life events can be psychologically taxing on an individual. The psychological damage caused by traumatic life events has been so well-documented for years that psychologists have long considered it a problem. The experience can be incredibly difficult, and your beliefs can be undermined, making your life worse.

The human psychology of suffering leading to despair is so clear that it needs no further elaboration that psychologist Amy Wana finally arrives. With a Ph.D. in developmental psychology, Wana has no idea what to do until his entire discipline is thrown into disarray. As a young professor, Wana spends his time doing statistical analysis. While working on a project, he lives with a boatload of children and mothers on Kauai, the westernmost island of the Hawaiian Islands.

When the project's lead researcher retired, Warner inherited the project's data. It was a gold mine for a developmental psychologist. The first thing she did was broaden the scope of the study. She followed the children's actions from birth through their lives. Instead of studying laboratory participants, she was observing real people in their real lives.

A multidisciplinary team was assembled to collect the data. Social workers, nurses, physicians, and clinical psychologists helped guide the children along the way. Researchers also collected data on the parents. This essential study involved 698 participants, plus those who had been there before their birth.

“Wanna,” she explained to me. “At that time, our focus was on suffering, as much as anything else.” Remember, psychologists believe that children who grow up in difficult environments inevitably suffer from psychological distress.

While some children are suffering from this, there are also a large group of healthy, well-adjusted, normal-looking people who can handle it. These are children who come from completely normal lives. In other words, they are exposed to the major stresses of life.

They live in supportive housing. As you would expect, they do well in school, so they don't suffer from serious problems, they don't have any mental health problems.

Other communities are born into difficult circumstances. Like Percy Spencer. The suburbs of Maine are full of financial and emotional problems. The children are faced with many obstacles. Most are poor. The parents are either alcoholics who drink heavily or have mental health problems. The situation is unfortunately not good among this group of children. They fail in school, drop out, get into trouble with the police, become victims of crime, and become parents as teenagers.

But surprisingly, not all children in “Kawai” end up like this. Some manage to break through this path. Finally, Warna herself found that a third of those who come from incredibly disadvantaged backgrounds grow up to be successful and prosperous. They do well in school. They form healthy relationships with their teachers and classmates. They grow up to be strong, successful people. They no longer have any memories of their difficult childhoods.

"Wanna's" findings are a departure from the conventional wisdom of psychology, and it's worth reconsidering them at this point. Her findings raise questions about the very foundations of psychology's behavioral paradigm. There is a strong cause-and-effect relationship between past life events and our current psychological well-being. If Kawai's findings are accurate, psychologists will have to redefine everything they've been taught about human psychology.

The first psychologists didn't know what to make of Warner's results. There seemed to be something special about the Kauai culture that made it easier for children to work hard despite the lack of results. Warner was skeptical about his results. "I can't even think about whether these are statistical problems or not," he said. He thought there was something wrong with the results.

But Warner's findings are proving to be accurate. Two other pioneers in the field, Norman Germinsky and Michael Rutger, independently discovered similar "unsuccessful" features. Other scientists have also, in their own ways, replicated Warner's findings.

They found. In a major study, psychologists in Copenhagen examined children raised by mothers with severe mental illness. They found that while they had more psychological problems than the general population, they were more resilient to these problems. These children went on to have productive lives despite the chaotic conditions they had to endure. Another longitudinal study found that among children living in poverty, a distinct group emerged who were able to emerge from their difficult upbringings. From England to Sweden to Australia, social scientists around the world have studied how individuals emerge from their circumstances.

In one of the most illustrative studies, psychologists in New Zealand tracked a group of 1,265 children born in 1977 from birth to age 21. They followed these children closely, recording everything they could find: their family's financial situation, their behavior around the home, and their

They looked at their behavior, their school activities, their psychological functioning, their alcohol and drug use, their propensity for vandalism. When they analyzed this data, they found no major problems, and half of the children who lived normal lives were

It turns out that roughly 40 percent of people are facing some kind of difficulty, some kind of poor behavior at school.

But 10 percent of people face extreme hardship. They come from broken homes and live in poverty. They experience domestic violence, witness it, and their parents struggle with substance abuse and fraud. But even though they grow up in such dire circumstances, about half of the children in this group are doing well. They don't drink or use other drugs. They don't get treatment for mental illness. They don't get into legal trouble. Researchers found that a third of them don't show signs of mental illness, depression, or anxiety at home.

But what about the individuals who opened the most unfortunate pair? American psychologists “Kerry Soger” and “ Charlotte Patterson” examined a group of 107 elementary school children who were victims of abuse and neglect. They followed these children for three years. Most showed at least some decline in peer relationships, academic performance, general behavior, and self-esteem. But even in these groups of abused and neglected children, a few were found to perform above average for at least a year. They had healthy relationships with other children. They did well in school. They had high self-esteem. They had no psychological problems.

Psychologists have come to understand that no matter how bad the situation, within a large group, there is a small group that is struggling to survive despite everything they are facing. They are the ones who are able to cope with their circumstances.

They are able to enrich their lives emotionally, psychologically, and interpersonally by overcoming obstacles. These individuals are like guns, enduring opposition. They can tunnel underground through violent obstacles and emerge on the other side.

Consider two children who are very similar. They live in the same neighborhood, go to the same school, have the same family, and face the same challenges. One child succumbs to the emotional turmoil and environmental chaos around him and falls into a life of challenges. The second child, despite facing the same challenges, manages to navigate through the obstacles he faces and lead a successful and healthy life. What causes these two children to take such different paths?

We know the roles that are responsible for achieving positive results in physical health. We must eat nutritious food, not overeat, and be physically active. We can take care of our health and live a healthy life. Similarly, working hard to get a good education, having support from adults at home, and hiring a good tutor can make a huge difference.